Love, hearts & cards.

I recently came across some Valentines Day, Mothers Day, Birthday & Just Because cards that Jonathan had given to me. Some were store bought, some handmade and there was even one was in Spanish (Jon's humor). The recurring theme in them all was the loud statement that I was loved.
Jon loved me. Every card he purchased, every picture he drew, every word he wrote was hand crafted to express his love for me. I remember how he would carefully watch my face as I read the card. My reaction was his gift. My tears, my smile, my laughter always sealed for him that he touched my heart. As I look through these symbolic gestures of expressed love, the pain of knowing another one will never be written by his hand is real. The emptiness is my heart is painful. The hope in my spirit in overwhelming. In this moment I'm concentrating on the simple fact that as much as Jon loved me. His desire was always for me to love God more than anything. More than him, more than our kids, more than life.
Today I'm thankful for that. It makes sense to me now: when Jon went to heaven, I lost my great love but I didn't lose the One I loved most. He is still with me.