8 months & 17 days after Jonathan passed away, I was having a rather tough night. What most people don't know is that for me a tough night can, involve me wearing my husbands shirt or sweatshirt with a fading hint of his cologne and sitting on the floor of my room or closet to get in a good cry. Please don't judge me. It's my way of coping with loss and I'm ok with it.
This particular night, my tears were flowing at high speed, my heart felt like it was being torn to shreds & there was a knot in my throat choking life from me. I was tipping on the edge of wanting to jump into the dark place of self pity, when I heard in my spirit "Do you still believe me for miracles?" I could only shake my head yes. "Do you believe I can raise the dead". Wow, really God? You're going THERE?
I took a deep breath and moved my lips but no words came out. Finally, they escaped my lips, I said: "Yes God I believe in miracles & I believe you can raise the dead". I sat staring at my hands, tears hot on my face when I heard in my spirit, "Then you & your children will see miracles unlike you've ever seen, IF you have faith to believe". That's all I needed to hear.
Today while I was in a meeting, I looked at my calendar & saw tomorrow is December 7 exactly one year to the date of that night on the floor. Tomorrow we are having a miracle service at Celebration Church. By chance? I don't think so. Everything God does has purpose.
Sometimes our lives are good & bad things happen. We might find ourselves with a diagnosis that shouldn't be ours. There are jobs we dreamed of that are lost. Relationships we thought would last forever fall apart. Financial issues takeover our sleep. Depression & anxiety take up residence in our home. We lose the one we love most. These are real moments, real pain. But these are also moments where God can perform miracles. Moments He can turn everything around. If only in moments like this, we could use them to propel us into a journey of believing greatly for mind blowing miracles. What would happen if we actually believed God for the impossible?
Tonight, I'm sitting on floor of my room while I write this. I'm on the edge of high expectation for miracles to happen tomorrow night. Some I know we will see instantly, others we'll see continue over time. Nonetheless, there will be miracles. They will happen. Me? I will be there to believe for them, to pray for them, to witness them & to celebrate them.
4 comments:
Thank you Pastor Corina for your inspiring words. You are a great woman of God in my eyes, you are a strong pillar I look up to. I am so thankful for you. Your words help the righteous get up and dust themselves off and keep moving forward. Thank you for your courage, and for sharing who you are. We love you very much <3
Angelica & Roland Ramon
Oh, I love this. My thinking is being challenged in the very same way right now. Well, not my "thinking"...my thinking knows it's true. It's my believing that's being challenged...and it's not just about Steve being healed. Can I believe in the overarching power and plan of God even if he is not? How quickly do I label something impossible and then put myself at a safe emotional distance from believing/contending for it? It's big,deep stuff. Thank you so much for giving me courage to swim in these waters.
Also - thank you for blogging. Your words make Fresno feel closer to Bend. :)
Yes, tonight, is the beginning of GREAT signs, wonders, and miracles, the Lord, our God, promises!!! I too, am coming along side you, believing for break through. Those who miss tonight will miss a mighty move of God. The world will no that this Church is filled with Holy Spirit and that He moves with power and might. All who read these post, come expecting the Lord to move in your life and those around you.
Thank you...it helps to strengthen my faith for miracles ....
Reading this while I am waiting to pick ip Riley.
I love you and your family very much.
Post a Comment